A must read for anyone who has a loved one with dementia.

I am currently reading A Dignified Life by Virginia Bell and David Troxel.   My intention was to finish the book before I recommended it here, but I am finding it such a good resource that I wanted to share it now as I know it will help many others who are looking for answers.

A Dignified Life BooK Cover

Ten years ago, the first edition of A Dignified Life changed the way the caregiving community approached Alzheimer’s disease by showing caregivers how to act as a Best Friend to the person, finding positive ways to interact even as mental abilities declined. Firmly grounded in the latest knowledge about the progression and treatment of dementia, this expanded edition offers a wealth of immediately usable tips and new problem-solving advice. It incorporates practical ideas for therapeutic activities—including the latest brain-fitness exercises—stimulate the brain while adding structure, meaning, and context to daily routines. With new stories and examples as well as an updated resources section, A Dignified Life, Revised and Expanded gives caregivers the support and advice they need to be successful and inspired in their demanding roles.

See more at:  hcibooks.com – A Dignified Life

or their website at:  Best Friends Approach

Life-Support Options For People With Serious Illness

Following are two links to life support options for people with serious illness and facing death.

Understanding the options that may be presented to you or your loved one is easier if you have the information ahead of time…when there is less chance for emotions to drive the decision.

PBS.org Frontline-facing death gives the reader guides to “Kinds of Life-Support Decisions” (Ventilators, Nutrition and Hydration, “Do Not Resuscitate” (DNR) Orders)  Including: “What to Know About Dying With Dementia” and “Family Conflict and Dementia”.

Eating and Not Eating as end of life approaches by Barbara Karnes, RN, end of life educator.  Her web site has tons of valuable information on matters concerning the dying process  (and see the video I have previously shared from Barbara Karnes).

So… What About The Spouse?

Last Friday was my birthday and I know Mom would have come to see me if she were able.  So I decided to go to her instead.  I was feeling very emotional … a real need to have a hug or some sort of interaction with her to feel her love for me again.  As I sat with her, that emotion only grew as did the sadness for the condition she is in… eyes closed, resting in a chair in a hallway with residents passing by or stopping to chat with me.  I wanted some privacy with my Mom.  After much consideration, I finally got the courage to sit close enough that I could put my head on her shoulder.  I thought it might make me feel better somehow, but instead I felt foolish and disappointed; without a response from Mom it was pointless.  So, I just sat with her and held her hands and pondered this very sad situation.  It occurred to me that as difficult as this is for me, as a daughter, I can’t imagine how it must feel to be a spouse of someone with dementia.  I have read a lot of articles on caregivers but they rarely address this issue.  The article I have linked here titled ” Till Dementia Do Us Part: Alzheimer’s Caregivers” from AARP gives a glimpse into how it feels to be that spouse and how some people are dealing with it.  I know some will agree and some will not, but I don’t think anyone can judge a person in this predicament unless they have spent every day of every year going through what they have… and I wouldn’t wish that fate on anyone!

Here is a short video from my visit~
2015 My Birthday Visit: http://youtu.be/CA1GpildmIg

Elder Care, Senior Care and In-Home Care for Seniors & Adults – Comfort Keepers – Canada

http://comfortkeepers.ca/

This company seems to have to right idea when it comes to caring for someone in their own home. If you are in need of this type of service, click the link above and check them out. They have offices across Canada and this may be just what you are looking for. They say they even have staff trained specifically in the care of people with dementia. I have not used their service but l sure like what they appear to be offering.

♥We are all just walking each other home♥