So… What About The Spouse?

Last Friday was my birthday and I know Mom would have come to see me if she were able.  So I decided to go to her instead.  I was feeling very emotional … a real need to have a hug or some sort of interaction with her to feel her love for me again.  As I sat with her, that emotion only grew as did the sadness for the condition she is in… eyes closed, resting in a chair in a hallway with residents passing by or stopping to chat with me.  I wanted some privacy with my Mom.  After much consideration, I finally got the courage to sit close enough that I could put my head on her shoulder.  I thought it might make me feel better somehow, but instead I felt foolish and disappointed; without a response from Mom it was pointless.  So, I just sat with her and held her hands and pondered this very sad situation.  It occurred to me that as difficult as this is for me, as a daughter, I can’t imagine how it must feel to be a spouse of someone with dementia.  I have read a lot of articles on caregivers but they rarely address this issue.  The article I have linked here titled ” Till Dementia Do Us Part: Alzheimer’s Caregivers” from AARP gives a glimpse into how it feels to be that spouse and how some people are dealing with it.  I know some will agree and some will not, but I don’t think anyone can judge a person in this predicament unless they have spent every day of every year going through what they have… and I wouldn’t wish that fate on anyone!

Here is a short video from my visit~
2015 My Birthday Visit: http://youtu.be/CA1GpildmIg

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